The other day I started to go through some stuff I have in my basement. I need to do this for me to continue to move forward with myself. I need to start letting go of some of my past. However, while doing this, I noticed that I have a lot of stuff. Why do I have all the crap? What is the purpose of it all?
I start to ponder this while I sort out some of the items, and it comes to me. I was buying things to make me feel happy. I would purchase the cordless phone because it was a decent deal, and I felt pleasurable. This also gets me thinking, How much money did I spend on junk? What a waste, I could have done so much more.
I should have spent the time figuring out. What was bothering me? Take some time to try to improve myself. Make myself a better me. Instead, I bought stuff, and then kept it. Let that mask the pain I was feeling. It seems like I used to do this a lot. I would never directly address my problems. I would always find a way around them. That way, I would not have to deal with the pain. The solution was only temporary. The issue would always come back.
So now I am giving away some of this stuff to people who could use it. I am packing up many bags for good will. I contacted some people who need a television or old DVD player or computer. I am also trashing a lot of junk that I should have done a long time ago. This purge feels good.
With age comes wisdom. I realized that all I was doing was masking the problem instead of addressing it. That will not happen anymore. I know that I will still get some junk here and there, but I will make sure that I go through it before it just becomes overwhelming.
Keep Rambling ......
Having a great day can be a blessing and a curse. You have a wonderful day. You spend it with a love one or someone special, and everything is perfect. You laugh together; you have a wonderful meal and even catch a movie. The evening is just perfect. You want it not to end. Then the day ends and you go to sleep. You dream about how wonderful the day was. Then you wake up, and you feel empty.
You know that everything was amazing yesterday, but the day is gone. You now are faced with an empty day. There is no laughter today. Dinner will be alone and no movie really interests you. The day is so cold compared to what you had yesterday. All day, you think about how great yesterday was and how today is empty. You start to feel meaningless and angry and don't know how to express yourself.
All the emotions and feelings begin to build. You get angry, and sad at the same time. You start to snap at people, and then you just feel bad. It is hard to get out of your funk. You try anything, but nothing is helping. You sit and ponder. How do you salvage the day? When you least expect it something happens to change your day.
And it could be a little thing that changes your day. It could be a phone call, a letter, a text or a hug. When that one thing happens, everything becomes lighter. You become full and enjoy what you have again. Your thoughts are filled with promise. You begin to feel like yourself again. The waiting was the hardest part. Now you will have a better tomorrow.
Keep Rambling .....
Have you ever had a day when everything you did go the other way? Today was one of those days for me. No matter how hard I tried I was not able to get it correct. It is disheartening when you try to do the right thing, and all you get is grief. So all you look forward to being the end of the day.
As my day continued to progress, I just kept getting more upset. Each time the phone rang it was another log to the fire. When a friend of mine called to see how I was doing, and I
explained what was going on they tried to help. What did I do for this help? I got angrier. I was rude and ungrateful. I was a complete tool. Why would I do this to a friend?
As the day went on I had called an apologized for my actions. I realized that with all the changes I have done and more yet to come my life is quite inconsistent. I need to try each day to make sure that I keep the course. I need to keep remembering that my friends are looking out for what is best for me. They are care about me. I am not alone, and I need to stop it. If I don't, I will be alone.
I enjoy being able to write this blog and get my feelings out. I can say the things that are on my mind and cleanse myself of all the crap from the day. I hope that all my friends know I really do appreciate everything that they do for me. For being there when I am down and celebrate when things are good. You are all very special to me, and I really cherish you. Thank you for being in my life and making it better. Without you in my life, I would not be complete.
Keep Rambling .....
