Happy Holidays

So the end of the year is coming up soon, I realized that this has been one crazy year for me. I have had so much change this past year. I have lost weight. I have changed my look. I have lost some friends, re connected with some old ones and made new ones. I had many realizations about myself, and I need to change. I need to grow, and I need to be true to myself.


Losing weight was huge for me. I have always been heavy. I never thought that I could ever drop the weight. I started with something small. I started to walk. I would walk around my street. I started to see how easy that was. It gave me time to myself to reflect and clear my head. I became more confident and started walking more. I took walks at lunch. This made a huge difference for me. I could focus better in the afternoon, and the pounds continued to drop. With all of this walking I started to cut back on what I was eating. Reducing the amount I was eating and walking after every meal as brought me to where I am today. I am 35 pounds lighter. I feel great, and I am happy with whom I am now.


Once I started to lose the weight, I started to build up my confidence. With my confidence higher and the help of a great friend, I started to change the way I looked. I started with my glasses. When I started wearing glasses, I thought of a certain look, metal frames and I looked older. Now I have nice Ray Ban frames, and they really stand out.

The next thing I worked on was my hair. I am losing my hair, and I did a comb over just like other people do in my situation. It looked terrible. I finally went to a place that could really cut my hair and taught me how to style it so now my hair looks great. I never thought it would look this good.

Clothing is such a challenge for me. When I was heavier, I would always wear something bulky to hide how bad I looked. I did not like how I looked but with some big clothes you would never know. I started with some brand new slim fitting shirts and some brand-new pants, and I was one my way. I started to see the person that I have become, and I liked the way the I looked. It was scary at first, but I made it happen.


Over the years, I have lost contact with friends. This year I decided to reverse that trend. i was going to call people, say hi and try to be a better friend. Knowing that I was so uncomfortable with whom I was, I would continually sabotage myself. I would get close to my friends and then just distance myself. The reason I would do this was simple. I did not feel I was good enough to have friends like them. I lacked the confidence to be a really good friend. I noticed how little I would listen to them when they needed me. If they had a problem, or if they wanted to vent their issues to me, I would interrupt them and try to solve their problems for them. That was not being a good friend, that was being a tool.

I have made some new friends this past year. Each one gets the advantage of the new me. One I met who has been there for me when at was at my worst. Saw that I was struggling and put their hand out to me and was willing to help me every step of the way. They could show me the challenges that I was facing are not impossible to overcome, but I will be better because of the journey. This friend was the catalyst to help me become a better friend, more confident in myself, and learn to be a better person overall. I will never be able to thank them enough.

So 2014 is coming to an end, I am looking forward to what 2015 will bring. I know that new challenges will be coming my way, I am looking forward to them. I am going to continue to fix the bridges that I have damaged with my old friends and make sure that they know I am there for them whatever they need me to do. I will continue to work on myself and be the best person I could be. Thank you for letting me tell you my story this past few months. I am looking forward to sharing with you what happens next.  

Happy Holidays from the Redhead Rambler

Keep Rambling ........