Andy or Andrew ........

I hear from people that I have changed. I am not the same person that I was. I miss the "old Andy," where did he go? I wonder to myself if the "old Andy" better than who I am now? Do people like familiarity or change? Is it that I am different than what they expect, and that is a good thing or a bad thing? Everyday I strive to be more confident, and each day a new challenge arises to test how I really am.

Yesterday I was tired; I did not sleep enough. I woke up and started my day. At work I was rolling, getting things off my desk at a blistering pace. Then the challenges begin. I get an email from a speaker whom I have been talking to let me know that they will not be able to be at my conference. At the same time, two more funerals are trying to be scheduled. Next I get a call about membership; They would like to go over every option available. Once that call is done I am asked to join a meeting with a family for their special needs' event. The time is now 10:30 A.M.

I get back to my desk; I am overwhelmed. I do not know where to begin. Old habits begin to creep into my mind. I am looking at ways to pass things off. I shake off the notion and struggle to find a direction with all this chaos. Step by step, I start to make progress and see an order. I start to return calls, emails and yes even faxes and the pile begin to shrink. I look at the clock, and it is lunch time.

I get out of my office for an hour and clear my head. I come back, and I am handed a pile of more things to do, twice the amount of my original pile. I begin to feel like a boxer who has gone 15 rounds and the bell just rang for the next round. The process begins again and some how I manage to get through it, but at a cost.

Now I am exhausted. I think to myself is this all worth it. Why am I doing this to myself? It would have been so easy to let things slide. I realize that it was worth it. I am proud that I made it through the day, and I did not give up. Yes, I was frustrated, and annoyed and sometimes pissed off, but I kept going.

I have a friend who has this struggle everyday, and I really feel for them. I listen to their struggles, lack of support, and how at the end of the day they keep pushing forward to do their best and get the job done. I should let them know more often that they are an amazing person, and I hope to emulate them. I will be doing that today. It is the first thing on my list. 

Keep Rambling ......