Breaking it down ...

I realized when you want to start over you need to get to your core. Peel back all the layers that you have put on over the years. Sometimes it is easy to do. Sometimes it really hurts. However, once you do that you can truly start over.

While I have been peeling back the layers of myself, I have come across some challenges that I never really addressed. One of them is my stubbornness. I realized that for me to change my mind about an issue it is next to impossible. The question is why? Am I embarrassed that I am wrong about something? Do I feel that I need to be right because people are counting on me? I just don't have the answer to that question. Nevertheless, I have a new stance, no more. I need to listen to what is being presented to me, and if it is different (and it is right) go with it. Think of the frustration and the stress I am giving up. It seems to me like a no brainer. Guess I was too stubborn to see that.

The second layer that I need to find out is, why do I get people mad at me? You are saying are you doing this intentionally? I don't think that I do. But when I am doing well for a while, I cause someone to have an argument with me to bring me down to earth. I realized I feel guilty when I am doing well. I have doubts that I can do something well. This is because I did not have the confidence in myself. So Now I do and will keep that confidence. I will stop creating arguments again I don't need the stress or the frustration.

All in all, I realize that the major layer that I need to address is, I don't take care of myself. I would rather deal with other peoples' challenges then my own. Here is the core that I needed to address. Once I realize that I need to take care of myself first. Because If I can't take care of me, how can I take care of the people that I care about? The answer is you can't. So I know that I have a lot of work to do, and I am up for the challenge.

Till Next Time .....