As I start this change in my life, I feel that way again. I am respecting the past, not reliving it. I am going down old roads but seeing different things this time. I am not doubting myself anymore. I am not feeling that I am not "good enough." I know that I can do it, and I am "good enough."
Being afraid to express how I feel is no longer an option. Keeping it all in has been such a determent to me. I would keep feeling in. Bring myself down and others around me. I would lose friends because I could not tell them what was going on with me. I could not tell them how empty, or alone I felt. How hurt, I was or lost. It would continue to build. The weight would become so great that I would just shut down.
I would look for an outlet. Sometimes I would go and play as many games of softball as I could. I would get myself so wiped out that I forget all my problems. During the off season, It was harder. I would try working out for a little or find a sport to play to escape. The best is when a friend would call and have a problem or issue. That would snap me out of it. The only problem was I never dealt with what was bothering me.
Today, I address the problems. Why do I feel this way? What is the real reason I am upset? Why am I allowing myself to feel this way? How is this going to affect me, and the others around me? It is amazing when I do that. I lose the anger and become calm. I am able to get things done. I have no more crap weighing me down. I am able to enjoy the day.
Hello, my friend, are you visible today?
You know I never knew that it could be so strange, strange
Hello, I'm sorry, I lost myself
I think I thought you were someone else
Should we talk about the weather?
Should we talk about the government?
Keep Rambling .....
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