I keep thinking about this quote, and I realized that this is what I needed to do. It takes time for me to realize things. I am not sure why I have become so stubborn? What was it that made me become this way? Finding out why I did so many things has become very enlightening.
I start looking back in my life and seeing events that cause me to do things. When I said something that hurt a friend or another person. Seeing how others could do things I could not. I would put up defenses. I realized that I have been woeful with coping skills when I was young. And because the foundation was poor, it was never really developed properly.
So now I have to start over at 43 to build a new foundation. Understanding that things will not be perfect in life I get. However, what to do when things do not go my way. How will I adopt? What steps do I need to take to be able to move on. How will my actions affect others? What do I do next?
It is hard to talk with others about these challenges that I have. I still feel that they won't come to me with their problems. Alternatively, they just won't like me because of all my issues. I once again see myself put in a place where I am not sure what to do. What is my next move?
I need to do something. I can't stay this way. If I do, then there is no more growth in me. So I guess the decision is already made. I will have to let it all come out and let the chips fall where they may. If I say that I am not scared I would be lying. This is going to be tough for me. I really need to do this.
Keep Rambling....
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